Things that would totally ruin Wrestlemania XXX for me.

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April 3, 2014 by timbuckler

wrestlemania-xxx-poster

Only 3 days to Wrestlemania and boy oh boy am I psyched! It’s an excellent card this year and I am looking forward to pretty much every match. It could of course all go to shit.

Here are some things that may ruin Wrestlemania for me.

If Triple H beats Daniel Bryan

wwe-raw-daniel-bryan-triple-h

Daniel Bryan deserves to be the champ. The audience love him and technically he is probably the best wrestler in the company today. In fact the only possible reason I can see D-Bry not being champ is to give him his epic Rocky moment at the end of Mania, defeating Randy Orton and Batista, winning the championship that has eluded him for the best part of the year and making the crowd go home feeling all warm and tingley.

But first he has to beat Triple H. In a cheeky stipulation who ever wins the Bryan/Helmsley match gets put into the main event  for the title. This all adds to the underdog defeating the odds story. Unless of course Triple H wins.

Worst case scenario

In a repeat of Wrestlemania 27’s Bryan v Sheamus, Triple H squashes Bryan in 18 seconds. He then takes the mic and over the course of 20 mins proceeds to tell the WWE universe how he is the Game, he is that damn good and he will be the next champion. Then he loses the title match.

How likely is it to happen?

Highly unlikely. WWE booking a Wrestlemania main event where the audience boo’s throughout is surely bad for business

If Brock Lesner defeats the Undertakers streak

brock lesner

 

The Undertaker’s streak is probably the biggest thing in Wrestling now. After the Championships kind of lost thier meaning for a.)there being too many of them and b.) them changing hands too often, the streak is the one match you can rely on to get your juices pumping. It’s a brilliant, simple story. Taker has never been beaten at Wrestlemania. Who ever beats him (if anyone beats him) has to be a young upcoming star who uses the platform to launch his career. Not a man who only Wrestles 3 times a year to pay his mortgage, like Brock.

Worst case scenario

Before the match starts Brock takes a steel chair and beats the living snot out of the Phenom for 30-45 minutes. The bell rings and Brock jumps on top of Taker,1-2-3. The last shot of the Deadman is him wiping away his tears and snot as he limps out to the back, never to be seen again.

How likely is it to happen?

Not at all. Brock beating Undertaker doesn’t benefit anyone. And I’m a Paul Heyman guy.

The 30 man over the top rope Andre the Giant memorial battle royal ends in a no contest.

smackdown-battle-royal

New for this year is the first ever 30 man over the top rope Andre the Giant memorial battle royal (or 30MOTTRATGMBR for short). The fact they keep saying it’s “the first ever!” makes me think this is going to be an annual event and I am down with that. It lets people who wouldn’t normally be booked get a nice fat WM pay check and it could potentially get younger, new talent over with the crowd.

Worst case scenario 

All 30 men decide the best way to honour Andre’s memory is to be friends, hold hands and sing Royals by Lorde. Then they all jump over the top rope at the same time and everyone is declared the winner.

How likely is it to happen?

If it does I would buy everyone reading this a steak dinner.

Hulk Hogan doesn’t punch someone and/or doesn’t rip of his shirt

Hulk-Hogan-007

Hulk Hogan is back! (Yay!) Hulk Hogan is old! (boo!)

Hulk is the host of Wrestlemania this year which means he doesn’t have to get physically involved, which is a good idea because Hulk’s poor old aching bones can’t take the bumps anymore. The man’s got two fake hips for Christ sake.

Doesn’t mean he can’t throw a punch a some young up start or work the crowd with the power of Hulkamania!

Worst case scenario 

Hulk walks to the ring at the start of the show and grabs the mic. “Well let me tell something Brother, I can’t get over how awesome the WWE network is, Jack! Hours of entertainment at the click of a button! So whatcha gonna do, when affordable WWE programming runs wild on yooouuuuu!” Hulk drops mic and walks off.

How likely is it to happen? 

Honestly? Judging from Hulk’s last few promos on Raw, extremely likely.

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