A Nightmare on Well Close: Tim’s messy night terrors.

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February 4, 2014 by timbuckler

There is nothing more boring than someone explaining a dream to you. I am fully aware of this but I have had such fucked up, vivid visions over the last four days that I feel the need to share it with people and maybe give myself some psychic evaluation.  I will keep it short, explaining the dream and then the explanation that the internet gives me.

Lets take a look and see how messed up I am. I promise that each and everyone of these madcap mental adventures is true. Well, not true, they are dreams. But dreams I really had. Which makes them true……..True Dreams. Good name for a band.

Dream 1: THE MAD MONKEY!!!

Mad Monkey

The monkey in the above picture is pretty much the spitting image of the one in the windmills of my mind. Pretty much your classic chase dream through the streets of my hometown. But instead of zombies or robots (the usual things that chase me in these type of dreams) It was a single, pissed off monkey. The streets were deserted as I ran through the town screaming for help. When the bastard chimp finally caught me everything went shaky and I woke up.

Internet Analysis! 

Apparently the monkey represents “the uncivilised, materialist oriented, animal-primitive person without spiritual interests” and fighting a monkey means I am in an argument or dispute with such a cretin. So basically, I’m in a never ending battle with a pack of arseholes. Yup, that makes sense.

Dream 2: Treacherous Bastards! 


Bit too personal too write in full this one. So I will just say someone I know ends up making sweet love with someone else I know and this sends me into a bathroom smashing blind fury. Everything shakes. I wake up.

Internet Analysis! 

“You can dream negatively or positively about someone, and so the interpretation will be based on the actual dream. This dream also reveals your fascination with the person in the dream.”

Yup. Pretty obvious one this. Lets move on.



The next dream was quite a nice one. I was in a relationship with Lady Ga Ga. Brunette Ga Ga like in the picture (I believe it was her 5th regeneration). Nothing dirty or anything like that, we watched some telly, went shopping and then sat by a swimming pool. One of those dreams when you wake up and you are obsoletely gutted it was all an illusion.

Internet Analysis!

“Dreaming of kissing/dating a celebrity means that the qualities that they possess is what your ideal man/women is like” So basically I want a girlfriend who is incredibly talented, smart, funny and batshit crazy. Sweet Jesus, this is getting deeper than I thought….

Dream 4: A good old fashioned, proper nightmare!


So the dream starts with me and some friends walking through a humongous graveyard trying to find the tombstone of someone who had something to do with Dracula. The facts in dreams get messed up in your head so it started as Mary Shelly, became Mary Stoker and finished with us just looking for the name Dracula. The search went on for hours untill finally we found the right grave. This is wear it gets fucked up.

The tombstone itself was huge and read “Here lies Simon and Mary, both in love with their obsession for Dracula”. Dracula was written in the over the top font from Francis Ford Cappola’s film.


The two corpses, get this…were above ground in a giant toy box. Yeah, I know. The woman had long blonde hair and the guy was all rotten and wearing a cap, looking a lot like the taxi driver in Ghostbusters.


Apparently he used to be the graveyards security guard. My friends scream and disappear. Everything shakes. I wake up.

Internet Analysis!

“On the cemetery observe how somebody is carried to grave, asks to give up the present expectations and settings in a certain situation, so that one makes progress.”……..Oh snap…..

My physic evaluation!

When I started writing this I was expecting maybe some kind of funny answer which I could write a wacky response to. What I got was some cold hard truth! I am in constant struggle against dick heads, I am fascinated with a certain someone, I crave a girlfriend who is talented and a bit crazy and I need to mentally get over a situation I’m in order to progress in life. Wow…….heavy.

I also have had this song stuck in my head for the last four days. Don’t know if it has to do with anything but it’s a fucking tune.

Follow me on facebook here https://www.facebook.com/TimsFortressOfSolitude

Or Twater me twats @TimBuckler316


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