When my Heroes fuck up.

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January 27, 2014 by timbuckler

What a crappy month it has been. Long story short I lost an awesome job and struck out with my dream girl. I will be honest with you boys and girls, I’m not happy.

Super scream

Still, one shouldn’t complain. We all have to deal with the shitty hand that life deals us every now and again. It’s what makes us human.

super scream 2

Or Kryptonian. 

I know I will be ok. I know life will be sweet again soon. You need kicks up the arse like this to improve yourself as a human being. It’s just hard to believe in whimsical zen when it feels like the entire world is falling on top of you, trying to bring you down.

Super scream 3

So it’s times like this I like to watch videos of my heroes fucking up. No matter how embarrassing my general moping about maybe, at least I don’t have the entire world watching.

Patrick Stewart

Patrick Stewart

Commander of the Enterprise, leader of the X-Men, Patrick Stewart is an alpha male we can all look up to. Charming, witty, makes being bald cool AND is currently banging a hottie half his age.

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“ENGAGE!”

This man can do no wrong…….

The cringe worthy moment.

Patrick Stewart quite rightfully calls out James Corden for looking bored and disinterested during an awards show whilst people are accepting their statues. The trouble is once he has made his point he doesn’t stop. He just starts rambling on about Corden’s belly.

Most cringy part

Failing to beat a man who’s profession is to make people laugh in a battle of wits Patrick asks the audience if they want to hear one more. No one says yes. But that doesn’t stop Picard from informing Corden “If you fancy the Jonas Brothers….You should cover your belly!”

Just where the fuck did that come from? Why say that? What part of him thought “this will slay em!” Watching this video makes face twist up into such an uncomfortable shape I have to use both hands to pull it back into my handsome self.

Joe Rogan

joerogan

Joe Rogan is a UFC commentator, TV host and my favourite stand up comedian of all time. Truly a hero of mine his confidence and not give a fuck attitude inspires me. I listen to his podcasts on the way to job interviews to get me pumped, I listen to his stand-up to cheer me up when a job interview goes horribly wrong and the man is soooo naturally charismatic. I have seen him live twice and although I think his set is the strongest in the world his true brilliance is from spontaneity and improvisation. No one takes out hecklers like Rogan.

The cringe worthy moment.

Rogan is brilliant at speaking his mind. Put words in his mouth and he is not so good. Rumour has it Joe was stoned off his tits when the UFC debuted on the Fox network. Maybe not the best idea when your about to read off an autocue. Gone is Rogans natural charisma. Enter Rogan tripping on his words and talking like a robot.

Most cringy part

Not sure. It’s either Dana White’s expression of “I’m going to fire this bitch”, Chuck Lidell’s expression of “I’m gonna smack this bitch”, the commercial break music kicking in and stopping as Joe takes his sweet time rolling through the name list or his gormless “Did I do good?” face as he turns to his peers at the end. Still, Rogan would have totally owned Corden at that awards show.

Meatloaf 

meatloaf

Meatloaf is the physical example of larger than life. Bat out of Hell was a revolutionary album which kick started the power balled. His over the top antics have become such a trademark that it’s hard to believe this man could ever be embarrassed about anything. Still one of the best live acts I have ever seen and comes across as one of the sweetest, most genuine guys in the world.

The cringe worthy moment

When you get into an argument with Gary Busey and Busey comes across as the cool composed one, somethings wrong.

Most cringy part

Meat kicking up a shit storm over missing paint in such a dramatic fashion you would have thought Busey shat on his wife. He then sulks like a man child even after his paint has been found. This one kind of reminds me of my drunken outburst after a night on the town.

Sean Connery

sean

Look up the word man in the dictionary and you will see Sean. That is all.

The cringe worthy moment

Back in the day Sean was asked his thoughts on slapping women. Anyone who has seen his Bond films could probably guess that when the going gets tough in extreme circumstances Sean thought it was ok to smack a bitch. But then was a different time. Time’s change. Sean does not.

Most cringy part

When asked “What would merit it?” Sean, with no hesitation, goes into an a relaxed and calm explanation of the best time to beat a woman down. It’s not in self defence. It’s when you give a woman the last word and she keeps banging on and you end up in “a provocative situation”

Axl Rose

Axl+Rose++PNG

Axl is my favourite front man of all-time (next to Freddie Mercury) but even I must concede that the dude is a bit of a dick. Here is Axl being fucking Axl. Too many cringe worthy moments to count…

The lesson kids? We all fuck up. Wish I could think of something more profound than that.

Follow me on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TimsFortressOfSolitude

Follow me on the tweet machine @TimBuckler316

Tim Buckler will return….

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