Realistically cool fictional characters all geeky men can all learn a lesson from (Reality vs Fantasy: Part III)

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October 9, 2013 by timbuckler

Life is hard. Money, relationship’s, illness and death. As Rocky Balboa says “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows, kid.”

rocky-balboa-trailer

Possibly the face of God.

So that is why “Geeks” like me enjoy escaping into a world of fantasy, and I believe there is a world of cool fictional characters we can learn a lesson or two from. However, this isn’t going to be about the usual suspects…..

Now we can all agree that Batman is awesome but do you truly want to be Batman? Have your parents murdered in front of your eyes and live a life of nightly shootings, stabbings and potential back breakings?

Bane_breaks_Batman

“GAAAAAAH! WHAT A FUCKLESS TASK THIS IS!”

What about Han Solo or Indiana Jones? Han is a pirate constantly on the run from a bounty, and in Empire he gets brutally tortured and frozen in carbonite. Indy is always getting thrown into snake pits, punched in the face and having curses dropped on him like dead flies. Even Rocky has had two of his best friends and his wife die in his arms.

No, this article is about normal guys with normal lives (well, normalish) who for some reason I want to be soooooo bad.

Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld  

seinfeld_jerry_240x260_052820041524

Whats the deal with plain white backgrounds?

Seinfeld is not a fictional character. However Seinfeld played by Seinfeld in Seinfeld is.

Fictional Seinfeld is a semi successful comedian living in downtown New York. Although he does have his fair share of scrapes and mishaps, it’s nothing compared to the shit  his friends George, Ellian and Cramer  have to go through. That’s because George gets over emotional about the smallest things, Ellian looks down on people and hold grudges and Cramer is just plain bat-shit crazy.

Jerry just coasts through life making wise cracks and letting things go. Even if he is involved in a uncomfortable situation he tends to get through it whilst trying not to crack a smile (though this is probably due to Seinfeld’s acting technique of non-acting)

Sure, he looses his rag from time to time, as we all do, but for the most part Jerry’s life looks kinda awesome. Especially considering how much the man gets laid.

 Pooh Bear in Winnie the Pooh.

Winnie-the-Pooh-001

Time is Honey.

The Tao of Winnie the Pooh is a concept I am sure many of you are familiar with. If not I shall quickly summarise it up now.

Pooh Bear is pretty much the ultimate symbolisation of the principals of Wei Wu Wei, which is the Taoist concept of effortless doing. He goes on many adventures but remains unburdened by problems or experiance.

For example Tiger is always running around like a red bull cocaine head. Rabbit is always bitching and moaning about something. Piglet is terrified of his own shadow. Owl over thinks and complicates  things and Eeyore is always threatening suicide.

eeyore

I hurt myself…..today….

Winnie the mutha truckin Pooh however is chilled. He is never angry or sad or violent. He just walks around taking life at an easy pace. Pooh Bear just is.

In fact  the only thing Pooh wishes to gain in life is honey, and if you can call anything in his life troublesome it’s that sweet sweet nectar. It’s the reason he got stuck up the tree with the balloon and it’s the reason he was too fat to squeeze out of rabbits hole.

If Pooh kicked his honey habit he would pretty much be Christ.

Carey Mahoney in Police Academy

carey-mahoney-121689

Carey Mahoney is the luckiest son of a bitch alive. After quitting is job as a car parking assistant by causing thousands of dollars worth of criminal damage rather than go to prision Mahoney is sent to the Police Academy, a fun filled place where he party’s, causes more criminal damage and has sex with lots of gorgeous babes including young hot Kim Catrall!

kim catralll

Well, young and hot in an 80’s kind of way.

Despite breaking laws and raising hell every film he seems to go up in rank. Because god dammit, the law needs more men like Mahoney.

Or “MAHOOOOOOONNEEEEEEEEY!” as his name is normally yelled out.

Peter Venkmen in Ghostbusters

venk

Bill Murray. The only man who could pull off 80’s fashion.

Me and Venkmen have a lot in common. We are both lazy, unmotivated and selfish. So why is he so awesome and I’m not?

The answer is charisma, a trait lots of women find attractive (and a lot them seem to confuse with cockiness and arrogance……damn you Rachel…)

Venkmen knows he is not the smartest, talented or hottest guy in the room, but he doesn’t dwell on it. That’s why he is the leader of the Ghostbusters despite having no passion for leadership. He is always in the moment and never really freaks out. Even when his girlfriend is possessed by a weird demon dog.

Zuul_breaks_free

Happens to the best of us.

Rodney Dangerfield in every film Rodney Dangerfield is in

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I tell ya, Rodney Dangerfield is the master of the universe. Although he may feel like he has no respect, with a bitch wife and a golf club leader on his back all the time the life he leads is always a party.

So how does one have a constant party? By learning puns for each and every situation you are in and a record player full of 80’s pop rock on standby.

With Dangerfield it is ALLLLLLL about attitude. That’s why this middle aged fat guy was one of the highest grossing comedy actors of the 80’s. If you can get everyone in the room on your side by providing nothing but a good time it doesn’t matter who you are, you will achieve nothing but respect.

And the lesson is…….

So why are these guys role models for young men such as myself? None of them are tall dark and handsome. None of them work hard at the gym everyday and none of them are particularly talented in there field of expertise.

The reason is that they don’t care.

By that I don’t mean you should quit your job and spend all day eating Doritoes and playing GTA. By that I mean if a girl breaks your heart let it go. If a guy is a jerk to you, know he is a jerk and you are cool and let it go. If you sit around dwelling on an unfortunate event all you do is become stale and nasty, much like those people you despise.

Now I’m not saying never be angry again. ALL these characters get angry. But when they do they do it is with a joke and a smile. If you can make people want to hang around you even in your darkest times then you are doing something right and if you live your life by this “creed” then you will find the darkest times will become few and far in between.

Always live your life to the better anecdote, like this guy……

danny buckler

and hopefully that shameless plug for my brothers gig will get me a few retweets……

HEY EVERYBODY!!!, WE’RE ALL GONNA GET LAID!

follow me on facebook at facebook.com/timsfortressofsolitude 

and twatter me tweets @timbuckler316

Tim Buckler will return……

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