December 19, 2012 by timbuckler
Just a quick one this, as I am busy filling up the fallout shelter I got from Homebase full of tin food, Jack Daniels and porn mags.
I thought I would share with you the tunes I will be listing to on Friday, when the world goes to shit, depending on the cause.
ZOMBIES! Drowning Pool- Bodies
You may remember this song from every movie trailer in the early naughties. I think it would fit perfectly while I am swinging about my Pappy’s chainsaw, tearing those undead fuckers a new pie hole.
RISE OF THE MACHINES!!! Hazel O’Connor- The Eighth Day
When my Xbox starts swinging for me, and the microwave tries to boil my brains, I shall try to reason with my electrical friends. Then, once they realise my potential, they will convert me into a cybernetic war machine known as TIMITRON! RULER OF EARTH AND ENEMY OF THE AUTOBOTS!!!!
AHAHAHAHA! FUCK YOU ALL!
INVASION FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY!!! The Doors- The End
They knock on my door and drag me away from my Mothers crying arms. Then they strap and AK47 on my back and tell me to go down the river, to fight an enemy I do not know. Fucking Tories. I knew this day would come….
INVASION FROM ANOTHER PLANET!!! Jeff Wayne- Eve of War
Their watching us, you know. Millions of miles away from another galaxy…..making there plans. They will hit us hard, with death rays and plasma bombs. Luckily I am from Woking, and my little town has been through this bullshit before….
NUCLEAR BLAST! Rage Against the Machine- Bomb Track.
Not really much running about or any kind of malarkey should someone chose to press the red button, as we will all be vaporised in seconds. I chose this song because it has the word bomb in the title. And it’s fucking awesome.
METEORITE SHOWER! Ludwig Van Beethoven- Ode to Joy
As the flaming rocks fall from the sky, destroying city’s and blowing the shit out of everything, I will strip down to my white vest and get my John Mcclane on, running through the chaos and saving as many orphans and hot women as I can.
THE CHRISTIAN’S WHERE RIGHT!? JUDGEMENT DAY! SHIT! Johnny Cash- When the man comes around.
As the four horsemen tear threw the sky, I walk down to the local church to repent my sins. As I walk out, through the madness of people running and screaming, I spark up a cigarette and let my long black coat blow in the wind behind me, looking cool as all fuck.
THE WORLD JUST GOES APE SHIT AS I FIND INNER PEACE! R.E.M- It’s the End of the World
The ground cracks and shakes as volcanoes rise. Tidal waves block the horizon as the sky turns black. I am stood on top of a mountain, naked, eyes closed and arms stretched out, ready to embrace whatever is coming for me. Because I feel fine.
And that’s that. Safe to say when shit gets real, I ain’t going out like a chump. I’m going to go out in the most epic way possible. Feel free to join me in my shelter on Friday, and we shall experience it all together. But only if your a female. and if your hot.
Peace out amigos xxx
Tim Buckler will return, provided there is still a world for him to return to.