Casting Call: The Highlander

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November 6, 2012 by timbuckler

Casting Call is fun game to play with your movie loving friends. You take a classic film and  recast it with actors who are around today to play the role. To try and keep it topical when I write these I will try to cast films that are on the rumoured remake block (though I am sure sometimes I will do one on the whim.)

So there remaking the Highlander apparently……I was excited until I learned who they had in mind to play Conner Macleod…

The say if you paint lambs blood at the top of the first draft of your script, Reynolds will pass over….

Once again, I like Ryan Reynolds, and if he didn’t have a track record of killing my favourite hero’s franchise’s I would be down with this decision, but after Deadpool and Green Lantern, I just cannot forgive him…..I know it wasn’t his fault, it was the film makers but still, his face attached to my childhood memories fill me with dread and fear……

That said, the Highlander was hardly a thriving Hollywood cash cow anyway. Never has such a perfect premise for a film series been so cluster fucked….lets look at the history…

The Highlander (1986) : Conner Macleod is an immortal who roams the earth though the century’s fighting others like him. An a immortal can only be killed by decapitation from another, who in turn takes the power from his fallen enemy. In the end there can be only one…and the soundtrack is by Queen, which takes an already epic idea and times it by ten. The amount of ideas you could set these films to is almost endless, what with the different fight styles of the world, and the different ages of history you got a perfect franchise….or of course, you could opt for…..

Highlander II: The Quickening (1991): Set in the future, it turns out the immortals are aliens from the Planet Zeist, and that whole concept of “There can be only one?” Well that  depends on whether or not more aliens decide to beam down to earth. This film was at one point the worst film ever made….WAS……

Highlander III: The Sorcerer(1994): This film pretends Highlander II never happened, and despite it being shit it’s not nearly as bad as it’s predecessor. Still pretty bad though. It holds a flame in my heart as I remember it being realised in the video shop during one of the happiest of periods my life time, and seven year old Tim thought it was fucking great. An old sorcerer is thawed from ice, and it’s up to Conner to cut his fucking head off.

Highlander: The Series (1992-1998): I always thought this was made after Highlander III, as it pretends III and II never happened (see the running theme here?)but IMDB has proved me wrong. In my opinion this is probably the best of the lot, as it embraces the adventures though the ages premise. Adrian Paul plays Conner’s cousin Duncan Macleod (Conner does make the odd cheeky cameo). Duncan is pretty badass. Also, the series has the BEST TITLE SEQUENCE EVER

Highlander: The Raven (1998-1999): Imagine Highlander the series, take away the budget and Queen then replace Duncan with a tiny pixie looking woman with short blonde hair. Utter shite.

Highlander Endgame (2000): Kind of feels like a feature length episode of the series, Duncan and Conner finally face off (yes, I cried during the outcome of the battle). Let down by shitty bad guys.

Highlander: The Source (2007):Takes Highlander II’s crown as worst movie ever made. Strangest thing is it’s pretty much a remake of said film. It’s set in the future, there’s planets and space and shit and at one point Duncan trades his iconic Katana for two cunty little knife things. I have no idea what the plot to this film was and I never want to talk about it again.

Right. So, as you can see, there is nothing really to lose for Highlander fans. This would be my picks for casting the remake.

Conner Macleod (of the Clan Macleod)

Character Basics: A medieval  warrior from the Highlands of Scotland, is kicked out of his village with his wife Heather on the discovery of his immortality. Is trained by fellow immortal Ramirez. Fights throughout the ages up until present day New York . Is the Hero of the story.

Who would I cast?:

Gerard Butler. The dude is Scottish, and knows how to rock out a sword fight. These two factors alone makes him a pretty much perfect choice for the Highlander.

Heather Macleod

Character Basics: Conner’s wife who stays by his side even after he discovers his immortality and is kicked out from the village they live in. Grows old and dies as Conner stays young, What makes this even more heartbreaking is the passage of time is shown via montage set to Queen’s “Who wants to live forever?”…..Some sad shit right there.

Who would I cast?:

Karen Gillan. Again, she is Scottish, and she has the whole “break your heart while staying brave during long passages of time” thing down to a tee.

(Sadly the BBC is shit hot at taking down videos, but if you want a good example check out the Doctor Who episode “The Girl who waited”)

Brenda Wyatt

Character Basics: Forensic detective who is on the case of the decapitated bodies showing up around New York City. She discovers that “Russell Nash” (Conner’s alias) is responsible for the be-heading’s and rather than arrest him they go out for dinner and fall in love. As you do.

Who would I cast?:

Claire Danes. She is an NYC gal and her career has recently kick started again thanks to her portrayal of a nosey bitch investigating a mystery man.

Various Immortals for Conner to ruck with.

Character Basics: Would be kind of boring if Conner didn’t have anyone to fight. These guys turn up, act narly, then get there heads cut off.

Who would I cast?

Michael Jai White, William Fichtner, Mark Dacoscas, Jackie Earle Haley. I like these actors, and they have all proved themselves in action scenes to some degree. Jai White as the brute force one, Fitchner as the aristocrat type, talky one, Dacoscas as the fast ninja one, and Haley as the psycho nutter one.

The Kurgan

Character Basics: The main baddie, and the final Immortal Conner must fuck up in order to claim the prize. Big, scary, beheading machine.

Who would I cast?:

Glen Jacobs. Wrestler best known for portraying Kane in the WWE. Only has one major movie part to date, but can do big and scary like no other.

Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez

Character Basics: Conner’s mentor, a man of style, teaches Conner about the way of the immortals and how to fight like a true pimp. Basically the Obi-Wan of the movie.

Who would I cast?:

Christopher Lambert. Ok, So I know that he basically is the Ramirez type figure as Conner to his cousin Duncan, but Lambert can do the wise cocky mentor well, especially now he is a little older. Dude rocked it in Mortal Kombat, Would be a nice cameo.

I know my picks will never happen, but in my dream world this would be perfect. Lets end this by rocking the fuck out to Queen. Peace out amigos xxxx

Tim Buckler will return in “Evil Dead trailer: My reaction”

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2 thoughts on “Casting Call: The Highlander

  1. thessaily says:

    Totally spot on dude. Yet again your casting call nails it perfectly!

  2. stuu says:

    it should be me and you tim just like the remake we made

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